Today, we live in an era where we have access to all the information we need. We have the opportunity to read and learn anything, with abundant resources available at our fingertips. Yet, despite this, many of us remain unsatisfied with our performance. We often find ourselves lost in the confusion created by media, leading to disappointment.
On the other hand, there are individuals like Srikanth Bolla and Helen Keller, who lacked basic resources. They couldn’t see, hear, or speak, yet they managed to succeed. What’s the difference between these two scenarios? It lies in the goal and, most importantly, in our self-belief. The biggest obstacle standing between you and your goals is your perception of yourself, which forms quickly and affects everything you do.
To understand this better, consider a research study conducted in 1975 with students. Two groups were formed, and both were given puzzles and questions to solve. When the results were announced, one group was intentionally given low scores, while the other was given high scores. Later, both groups were told that their scores were fake and had no real meaning. A few days later, the same students were tested again and asked to predict their own scores. The group that had initially received low scores estimated their future performance at around 60 points. In contrast, the group that was initially given high scores expected better results. This shows how quickly we form beliefs about ourselves.
Once we encounter failure, we start expecting less from ourselves. We say things like, "I can't score well," or "This is too difficult for me." It’s human nature to stay confined within our belief system. Even when we know the results are fake, we subconsciously hold onto the belief that we cannot achieve more. This mindset gets embedded in our subconscious, affecting our efforts.
Ivan Joseph, a football coach, shared an experience in his book You Got This. He was coaching a high school team in need of a good goalkeeper. There was a tall boy, 6 feet 3 inches, who stood like a wall but had two problems: his hands were slippery, and he lacked confidence. The coach made him practice catching the ball 200 times a day. After a week, when his skills improved slightly, the coach instructed him to say, "I am a great goalkeeper" every time he made a good catch. As his skills improved, the coach increased his practice to 450 catches a day.
The boy faced his negative self-talk head-on and ignored his mistakes, focusing only on his successes. It was a difficult process, but it transformed him. Two years later, he was selected for a professional club in Spain. This transformation wasn’t magic—it was the result of practice, repetition, and positive self-talk.
David Goggins emphasizes that our self-talk stays with us from morning until night. Whatever we repeatedly tell ourselves becomes our reality. Hence, changing your self-talk is crucial. One effective technique is to use "because" statements. For instance, if you have an exam in two months and you’re doubting yourself, write in your diary: "I will score well because I practice every day," or "I will excel because I am getting good guidance." By finding a new reason each day, you build a strong case against self-doubt, shifting your mindset towards positivity.
This daily practice changes your internal narrative, activating a "Winner Effect." You start expecting success from yourself, which leads to improved focus and effort. Over time, the voice of self-doubt diminishes, and self-belief grows stronger.
Another important point to understand is that determination alone doesn’t guarantee long-term success. Our intentions can be overwhelmed by our environment over time. Imagine you prefer listening to lo-fi Sufi songs, but for the next seven days, you travel in a friend’s car who only plays pop music. By the third day, you might start liking pop songs, and by the seventh day, you could find yourself humming along. This happens because of the brain’s neuroplasticity—it adapts quickly to new inputs.
If you’re surrounded by negative or unhappy people, you need to distance yourself mentally or keep yourself so busy that they cannot influence you. Self-belief is something you build, not something that happens by itself. Neuroscientists now say that anyone can develop confidence through consistent effort and following a structured process.
In summary, here are four steps to build self-belief:
- Change your self-talk with repetition: Your self-talk stays with you day and night. What you often say to yourself shapes your actions, so start by affirming positive statements like, "I am getting better every day."
- Use "because" statements: Write in your diary daily, affirming positive outcomes with reasons. This helps you find genuine reasons to believe in yourself.
- Distance yourself from negative influences: Your environment affects your mindset. Either change your surroundings or create enough mental space to stay unaffected by negative comments.
- Build confidence through action: Confidence is created by taking action every day, working on tasks that make you trust yourself. There is a process behind self-belief, and anyone can develop it by putting in the effort.