Change is something we all strive for. Whether it’s improving our health, learning a new skill, or breaking an old habit, we all aim for transformation at some point in our lives. However, it’s often easier said than done. Many people start with great enthusiasm, only to find that, after a few weeks, they slip back into their old habits. Why does this happen, and what can we do to make long-term change stick?
Psychologists have studied this common issue, and today we’ll explore six key reasons why lasting change can be so difficult, and practical strategies to overcome these obstacles.
1. The Power of Negative Emotions
One of the most common goals people set is weight loss. But research has shown that negative emotions, such as anger, shame, or regret, can spur people to begin a weight loss journey. Unfortunately, these emotions often dissipate quickly, leading to a loss of motivation.
When we begin a change based on negative feelings, the initial surge of determination tends to wear off after a few days, and old habits resurface. However, there’s a way around this. Studies have shown that people who focus on the positive aspects of their journey, such as noticing small improvements and embracing new positive feelings, are more likely to succeed.
Instead of relying on negative emotions to fuel change, try focusing on the positive outcomes you’re experiencing. As you start noticing progress, your motivation will stay intact, making long-term change more achievable.
2. Cognitive Distortion: The “All or Nothing” Trap
Cognitive distortions refer to the faulty thinking patterns we all sometimes fall into. One of the most common is the “all or nothing” mindset. People often think, “I’ll either change everything today, or I’ll never change,” which can be paralyzing.
This type of thinking makes any small obstacle feel like a huge failure, leading people to quit altogether. But change isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. It’s not about doing everything right from day one; it’s about learning from each small mistake and making incremental improvements.
When you face setbacks, remind yourself that they’re part of the process. Acknowledge the small wins, and keep moving forward. Long-term change is a journey, not a destination.
3. Lack of Self-Control and Energy
Psychologists say that self-control, attention, and energy are the three key resources needed to make lasting change. Unfortunately, many people struggle with these aspects because they’ve never been taught how to manage them properly.
We often think that big changes should happen quickly, but change takes time, and small actions matter. Each step—no matter how small—helps you gain the experience and expertise to improve next time. Rather than expecting immediate results, focus on building better habits day by day.
4. Incomplete Intentions
Another reason we struggle with change is that we often make vague resolutions, such as “I’ll start working out tomorrow” or “I’ll eat healthier this week.” These intentions lack the specificity and structure necessary for success.
Research shows that people who set clear, specific goals have a much higher chance of following through. For example, instead of saying, “I’ll exercise tomorrow,” try: “I’ll go for a 30-minute run at 6:00 PM tomorrow.” This level of detail makes it easier to follow through because you know exactly what you need to do, when, and where.
Remember: each day is a new opportunity to set your intentions. If you miss a day, don’t let it turn into a week. Set your intentions for the next day, and keep moving forward.
5. Thinking Change Is Just About One Action
Often, when people think about change, they focus on a single action—like going to the gym or dieting. But true change isn’t just about one action; it’s a lifestyle shift. It involves changing multiple aspects of your life simultaneously.
For example, if you’re trying to get fit, don’t just focus on your workout routine. Also, look at your diet, your sleep schedule, and your stress levels. Change is a process that involves making small adjustments in multiple areas of your life, all of which work together to create long-term results.
James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits, suggests that we can build new habits by layering them on top of old ones. For instance, after taking a shower, you could automatically sit down to meditate, or after breakfast, you could plan your day. Over time, these small adjustments will become part of your daily routine.
6. Lack of Commitment
The final obstacle to long-term change is a lack of commitment. Commitment is about more than just saying, “I’ll change.” It’s about fully accepting responsibility for your success and holding yourself accountable every single day.
Commitment has two parts: responsibility and conviction. You are 100% responsible for your happiness, your willpower, and your actions. And you must have the conviction to stay committed, no matter what obstacles come your way. It’s about promising yourself that you will not quit, no matter how tough it gets.
Overcoming Obstacles and Making Change Stick
If you’re struggling to bring about long-term change, here’s what you can do:
- Start with small, positive changes: Focus on the positive aspects of your journey rather than negative emotions.
- Avoid the “all or nothing” mindset: Understand that setbacks are part of the process. Learn from them and keep going.
- Manage your attention, energy, and self-control: Small actions add up over time. Build better habits gradually.
- Set clear, specific goals: Instead of vague resolutions, make detailed plans with specific times and actions.
- Make it a lifestyle change: Change involves multiple aspects of your life. Focus on creating a new lifestyle, not just changing one behavior.
- Stay committed: Take full responsibility for your success and remain steadfast in your commitment to change.
By addressing these six obstacles and applying the strategies above, you can set yourself up for lasting transformation. Remember, change isn’t about perfection. It’s about making consistent progress, learning from your mistakes, and staying committed to your goals.